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Monday, March 15, 2004 

Procrastinate? Me?

But it's a quick one; stolen from Nat. If there's not an X next to it, I've done it.

(_) I’VE NEVER BEEN DRUNK
(_) I’VE NEVER SMOKED POT
(_) I’VE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) I’VE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I’VE NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND’S CAR
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(_) I’VE NEVER RIDDEN IN A TAXI
(X) I’VE NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I’VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I’VE NEVER HAD SEX
(_) I’VE NEVER HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN DUMPED
(_) I’VE NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN FIRED
(_) I’VE NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(X) I’VE NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(_) I’VE NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENTS' HOUSE
(_) I’VE NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(_) I'VE NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(X) I’VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I’VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(X) I’VE NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(_) I’VE NEVER STOLEN ANYTHING FROM MY JOB
(X) I’VE NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIMES SQUARE
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN ON A BLIND DATE
(_) I’VE NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(_) I’VE NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(X) I’VE NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
(_) I’VE NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(_) I’VE NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(_) I’VE NEVER BEEN FISTED AND/OR HAVE NEVER FISTED ANYONE
(_) I’VE NEVER THROWN UP IN A BAR
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN TO A PRO FOOTBALL GAME
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN PAID FOR SEX
(X) I’VE NEVER PAID FOR SEX
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN TO A BATH HOUSE
(X) I’VE NEVER BEEN ON A HUNTING TRIP
(X) I’VE NEVER PERFORMED AN UNASSISTED BACKFLIP



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About me

Ian Mathers is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Stylus, the Village Voice, Resident Advisor, PopMatters, and elsewhere. He does stuff and it magically appears here.

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imathers at gmail dot com

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