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Tuesday, March 01, 2005 

Dumb ass motherfuckers

So some kid in the US is in custody for making "terrorist threats" via zombies.

It's bad enough when they arrest high school students for actually saying they'd like to burn down their school, but a short story about zombies taking over the school? That'd be painfully asinine, even if it didn't having lasting effects for this guy.

Does this really surprise you that much? C'mon! Surely you're aware of the presidential line on this issue.

Libya, North Korea and Kentuky: the three corners of the Zombie Terrorist Triangle (known in official circles as the Axis of Undead No-Goodness), which as we all know is but a small portion of the Outposts of Hyper-alarm Parallelagram (or the Uber-No-Go-There Bad Guy Super Scary Zone).

WHY DO YOU HATE FREEDOM IAN?!

Because I'm a dirty Communist.

Obviously.

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Ian Mathers is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Stylus, the Village Voice, Resident Advisor, PopMatters, and elsewhere. He does stuff and it magically appears here.

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