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Wednesday, February 20, 2008 

This isn't helping my painful ambivalence about the institution of marriage, either

Why on earth is this the most depressing thing I've ever read? I'm a 26 year old single guy, a grad student (i.e. in a position where the social milieu is more immature than you might think), and a guy who thinks the whole Sex & The City/idealized vision of romance is stupid (the redeeming value of High Fidelity, I would tell you, is that Rob Gordon realizes that waiting for something perfect is ruining his life). I'm not in the position that Gottleib is in, and according to her I never will be, but the whole thing just makes me want to become a monk, to give up on the whole idea of romance and relationships (which I don't actually want to do - I like those, thanks). I'm not sure what she was setting out to do, but I hope making me feel like dating just isn't worth it wasn't one of her goals.

I'm reading a book about drug addiction in West Baltimore right now, and this article is STILL one of the most depressing things I've read recently.

Maybe it was one of her goals. To incapacitate the kind of guy this would depress so there's more of a dating pool available to women when those guys later decide they want to settle.

Nooooo, didn't you read the whole thing? Us men, we never have to settle. Or something.

You point about the West Baltimore book made me laugh, but it's true.

Lisa Schmeiser has a response:
http://schmeiser.typepad.com/the_rage_diaries/2008/03/settling-is-for.html#more

Thank Christ for that - both for finally articulating why that article made me so fucking uneasy and also for providing an intelligent response. I was so depressed I could do neither, sadly.

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Ian Mathers is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Stylus, the Village Voice, Resident Advisor, PopMatters, and elsewhere. He does stuff and it magically appears here.

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