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Thursday, March 02, 2006 

I am not an alcoholic

Who else do you know who can go to the bar, have four pints, go to another bar, win the first round of "Name That Tune" music trivia, drink all the free beer that results, play the second round and come in second, and still get to bed early enough to get eight hours of sleep before work?

No one, that's who.

you and I have GOT to go out drinking together sometime.

Ian Mathers the lucid drunk: I remember him well.

If you're ever in Ontario, or I'm ever in Texas, it is absolutely on, Kate.

And Dan, would you happen to be referring to a certain backyard party just after OAC year?

hell yeah, it's on. I'll let you know next time I stop by.

I believe that "a certain backyard party just after OAC year" was the only time I ever saw you drunk, so yeah.

For those who don't know, drunk Ian is just like regular Ian, except even wittier and more likely to say something offensive, like shouting "Shit or get off the pot!" to drunk people making out on-stage in a crowded theater. :-P

Good times, good times.

To be fair, I wasn't the only one yelling stuff at them. I was just the loudest.

I was at a convinience store last night with a friend, and some guy walked over and was like "Hey, guys, sorry to bother you, but can I ask a question?" ok... and he yelled "WAAAAASSSSSSSSUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!" and walked off. Drunk Ian probably would've had something to yell at that guy.

I would hope so. Sober Ian, unfortunately, has no idea what that might have been.

We did spend some time at the first bar flipping off some douchebag at the next table over, though.

last night, i was at the bar with some friends, and some guy walked up next to me to order a drink, and another guy sitting on the other side of my friends yelled out the guy getting a drink's name, he turned around, and they proceeded to greet eachother by flipping eachother off and yelling "WHAT THE SHIT, MAN??"

This is our new official greeting.

Oh, wow - I'm familiar with the former as a method of greeting, but "WHAT THE SHIT, MAN!" is new and awesome to me.

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About me

Ian Mathers is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Stylus, the Village Voice, Resident Advisor, PopMatters, and elsewhere. He does stuff and it magically appears here.

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imathers at gmail dot com

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